Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
