Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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