I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
