i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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