He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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