Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
