Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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