i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
