We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
