mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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