did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
