Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
