I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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