trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
