Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
