She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
