That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
