Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
