We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
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You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
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Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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