That's when you crack a 10am beer
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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