I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize