I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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