Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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