I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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