i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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