hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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