I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
