we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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