i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
