My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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