And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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