It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
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We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
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you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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