is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
