I will die if light touches me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Let's get the cat blown out
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
