Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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