If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize