i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
