I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
