I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
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I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.