I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
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he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
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All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!