in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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