We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
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Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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