I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
a search helicopter?!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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