Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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