he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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