She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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