it wasn't lemon gatorade
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
