Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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