omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
