whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
