apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
