if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
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