thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
