we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
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