look no pants
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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