In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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